Relationships and Marriage Guidance

 

” There is no such thing as a perfect couple, the way to get along is: Be more humorous and argue less; be more understanding and quarrel less, be more caring and scold less.”
- Venerable Master Hsing Yin

Hello,

You are reading this page because you are in a relationship and you are having problems. Don’t wait until these problems become impossible to solve, GET HELP NOW! So many couples leave counselling as a last resort and by that time, the relationship may be past saving. Issues such as poor communication, intimacy dysfunction and infidelity DO NOT fix themselves! A counsellor or mediator can help you through the rough patches of your relationship, making it stronger and more enduring.

If your partner is not ready to join you in counselling, the relationship will still benefit from you having sessions in which you can begin to understand how changes can be made, even by one person changing their behaviour and attitude. If you are not sure if this is the best path for you, please contact me and we can discuss how to identify your needs in this relationship.

click here to read about online counselling with Skype(TM)Often couples don’t seek counselling until the problems appear to be insurmountable and at least one partner has built up such a degree of resentment against the other, that reconciliation is very difficult. By seeking help at an early stage of conflict, through professional mediation and counselling, this can often be avoided.

Preparation for Couples Therapy:

Many couples commence therapy with little idea of how to prepare for sessions or how to make the most of them. The main aims of Couples Therapy are to increase, or develop, clarity about:

  • The kind of life you want to build together and separately
  • The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to obtain the relationship you want
  • Your individual blocks to becoming that person
  • The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above

To create the relationship that you desire, there will have to be some difficult decisions and trade offs for each person in areas such as time commitments, the effort to remember and act on agreed changes and movement outside your comfort zones.

Couple counselling can be of assistance in many problem areas, including;

  • Intimacy
  • Communication
  • Differences in religious or racial backgrounds
  • Role identification
  • Pressure from work or family
  • Conflict over life and family goals

 

 

“Don’t get angry, get help.”

There is no place within a healthy relationship for abuse.

Whether this is verbal, psychological or physical, if you or your partner have become abusive, then don’t delay in seeking further help.

Sometimes people under stress, behave in ways that they later regret and by learning to identify the triggers for their behaviour, they are more likely to find a better way to deal with these issues in the future.

Abuse towards your partner can never be condoned but counselling can help the abuser to change their behaviour and the dynamics of the relationship better understood.

Read more about emotionally abusive relationships >>>

click here to read about carole's After Work couples counselling in ParramattaPrecommitment or marriage preparation is also an area where many potential problems may be averted, by clarification and improved communication through counselling, before marriage / commitment takes place.

Final thoughts:

  • Trust is the foundation block of a healthy relationship
  • It is impossible to be in a highly inter- dependant relationship without ever being judgemental or being judged
  • If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and achieve this, you will pay the price by becoming dull
  • Can you expect your partner to treat you better than you treat them?
  • Can you expect your partner to treat you better than you treat yourself?

Relationship/marriage counselling does not have to be the last resort of an unhappy marriage or de facto relationship. See it rather as the cement that will help to bind the cracks that form in any long term relationship and help to make it stronger for the future.

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With acknowledgement to Ellyn Bader & Peter Pearson at ” The Couples Institute

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