Relationship / Marriage Guidance

These days when a relationship becomes too difficult, many people just walk away from it. A lasting relationship is based not only upon love, but also upon mutual respect and good communication skills and with these, many problems can be overcome.

Often couples don't seek counselling until the problems appear to be insurmountable and at least one partner has built up such a degree of resentment against the other, that reconciliation is very difficult. By seeking help at an early stage of conflict, through professional mediation and counselling, this can often be avoided.

Preparation for Couples Therapy:

Many couples commence therapy with little idea of how to prepare for sessions or how to make the most of them. The main aims of Couples Therapy are to increase, or develop, clarity about:

• The kind of life you want to build together and separately
• The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to obtain the relationship you want
• Your individual blocks to becoming that person
• The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above

To create the relationship that you desire, there will have to be some difficult decisions and trade offs for each person in areas such as time commitments, the effort to remember and act on agreed changes and movement outside your comfort zones.

Couple counselling can be of assistance in many problem areas, including;

• Intimacy
• Communication
• Differences in religious or racial backgrounds
• Role identification
• Pressure from work or family
• Conflict over life and family goals

Precommitment or marriage preparation is also an area where many potential problems may be averted, by clarification and improved communication through counselling, before marriage / commitment takes place.

Final thoughts:

• Trust is the foundation block of a healthy relationship
• It is impossible to be in a highly inter- dependant relationship without ever being judgemental or being judged
• If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and achieve this, you will pay the price by becoming dull
• Can you expect your partner to treat you better than you treat them?
• Can you expect your partner to treat you better than you treat yourself?

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