What is stress? It has been defined as a pressure, either external
or internal, to do something at which you fear that you will fail.
Some stress in your life is unavoidable but it can become an unbearable
burden when the degree becomes too high, whatever that level may be
for each person.
Stress is accumulated over a period of time and experiencing one major
stressful event will not only raise your stress level but it may possibly
take 12 months, under normal conditions, to reduce it to previous levels.
If another highly stressful event occurs during this 'recovery' period,
it will add to the level and make it even higher. Even minor levels
of stress sustained over a prolonged period can lead to stress related
problems, but higher levels can lead to physical ailments and more
severe psychological disorders.
This questionnaire (on the right), adapted from the Holmes - Rahe
Scale (1967), has been designed to help assess your present stress
level. In order to complete this form, determine which life events
have occurred in your life over the past 2 years and
add up your total stress score. Please note, the degree to which any
particular event is stressful to you will depend upon how you perceive
it and the scores in the survey, are averaged over many different peoples'
responses.
The years of parenting can be particularly stressful. In a 1996 study
of 318 Australian families, (http://www.caper.com.au/adultsurvresult.htm)
the most frequently reported stressful life events reported
by the parents, were:
Another child being born into the family
A parent changing jobs
A death in the family
The family moving house
A child in the family being hospitalised
Greater financial problems
A parent being unemployed
However, those events which caused the most intensity of
stress were not rated in the same order and the event which caused most stress
in these families was 'discipline problems with children', not one
of the most frequently reported events. It is clear that
rating the degree of stress arising from any particular event, is a
very personal one and must be dependant upon other factors than frequency.
So why do some people deal with stress in a more functional manner
than others?
They perceive that they have some control over
the event
They have successfully experienced something
like this before
The outcome is not as important to them, as it
may appear to be to others
They can perceive stress as an opportunity to learn rather
than an opportunity to fail
They have friends and social support to help
them cope
Stress affects everyone in different ways but falls into three main
areas.
Emotionally: Causing depression, anxiety or anger
Cognitively: Causing indecisiveness, poor concentration and memory
lapses
Behaviourally: Causing insomnia, increase of addictive behaviours
such as gambling, overeating, drinking, abuse of self or others and
personality problems such as OCD
Once you realise that there are excessive amounts of stress in your
life that are causing problems to yourself or others, there are several
things that you can do to help control them.
Be realistic about your goals and priorities, and identify those
things that you need to do first
Make a list of the stressful situations in your life, recognising
those that you can control and those that you can't
Use your time effectively to deal with those that you can control
or influence in some way
Don't waste energy in trying to control or change those situations
that are unconquerable
Allow yourself time to yourself, find a hobby or a technique that
allows you to relax
Don't be afraid to ask for help and share your problems with others
Remember, stress can be positive as well as negative, you can choose
how you will react to presenting triggers
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