What is stress? It has been defined as a pressure,
either external or internal, to do something at which
you fear that you will fail. Some stress in your
life is unavoidable but it can become an unbearable
burden when the degree becomes too high, whatever
that level may be for each person.
Stress is accumulated over a period of time and
experiencing one major stressful event will not only
raise your stress level but it may possibly take
12 months, under normal conditions, to reduce it
to previous levels. If another highly stressful event
occurs during this 'recovery' period, it will add
to the level and make it even higher. Even minor
levels of stress sustained over a prolonged period
can lead to stress related problems, but higher levels
can lead to physical ailments and more severe psychological
disorders.
This questionnaire (on the right), adapted from
the Holmes - Rahe Scale (1967), has been designed
to help assess your present stress level. In order
to complete this form, determine which life events
have occurred in your life over the past
2 years and add up your total stress score.
Please note, the degree to which any particular event
is stressful to you will depend upon how you perceive
it and the scores in the survey, are averaged over
many different peoples' responses.
The years of parenting can be particularly stressful.
In a 1996 study of 318 Australian families, (http://www.caper.com.au/adultsurvresult.htm)
the most frequently reported stressful
life events reported by the parents, were:
Another child being born into the family
A parent changing jobs
A death in the family
The family moving house
A child in the family being hospitalised
Greater financial problems
A parent being unemployed
However, those events which caused the most intensity of
stress were not rated in the same order and the event
which caused most stress in these families
was 'discipline problems with children', not one
of the most frequently reported events.
It is clear that rating the degree of stress arising
from any particular event, is a very personal one
and must be dependant upon other factors than frequency.
So why do some people deal with stress in a more
functional manner than others?
They perceive that they have some control over
the event
They have successfully experienced something
like this before
The outcome is not as important
to them, as it may appear to be to others
They can perceive stress as an opportunity to learn rather
than an opportunity to fail
They have friends and social support to
help them cope
Stress affects everyone in different ways but falls
into three main areas.
Emotionally: Causing depression, anxiety or anger
Cognitively: Causing indecisiveness, poor concentration
and memory lapses
Behaviourally: Causing insomnia, increase of
addictive behaviours such as gambling, overeating,
drinking, abuse of self or others and personality
problems such as OCD
Once you realise that there are excessive amounts
of stress in your life that are causing problems
to yourself or others, there are several things that
you can do to help control them.
Be realistic about your goals and priorities,
and identify those things that you need to do first
Make a list of the stressful situations in your
life, recognising those that you can control and
those that you can't
Use your time effectively to deal with those
that you can control or influence in some way
Don't waste energy in trying to control or change
those situations that are unconquerable
Allow yourself time to yourself, find a hobby
or a technique that allows you to relax
Don't be afraid to ask for help and share your
problems with others
Remember, stress can be positive as well as negative,
you can choose how you will react to presenting
triggers